Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
