well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
