Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
there is puke in my bra ... again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
