It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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