My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
