There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
