we're blogging at a bar
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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