im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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