Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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