hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm passing your future prison.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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