I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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