he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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