Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is Oprah even human
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
