I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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