the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize