Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
