Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
