No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we're making bets on your personal life
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
