I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
