Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize