Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
