You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
