i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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