we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize