Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
