just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
