guys are not supposed to queef...right?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Less talking, more tequila
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
