YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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