I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
