ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
