Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
