I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
