I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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