some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
