Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
