oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize