Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
