lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize