i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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