so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
