1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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