He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
