So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The power of my boobs compel you
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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