Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
