i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
