Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
