"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
