so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize