You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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