I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
