Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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