it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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