I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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