I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
