I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
