Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
