What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
