Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize