my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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